Aruna moment
In the past, you might have heard me talk about ‘Aruna moments’. The (then) 18-year-old boy on the right, in the picture above, inspired it. That is Aruna.
We met him a few years ago, during a trip to Sri Lanka. Aruna was our ‘guide’ in and around Habarana. ‘Guide’ was a generous term for him. We stayed in his uncle’s guesthouse, and he was eager to show us around, even though he had very little knowledge about the (history of) specific sites or the significance of the places we visited.
During our walk downhill, after visiting some old ruins of a monastery in the hills (I still don’t know which, as Aruna never told us) I started to talk to him about his life, his interests, his hobbies, his ambitions. Cricket is a big deal in Sri Lanka so I asked him if he played. ‘Oh yes, I am really good at it.’ But he was also really good at football, he was a great singer, and he was the funniest of his friends. Basically, everything that I threw at him, he was good at.
He then laid out his plan for his life. Which to him seemed rock-solid. For now, since he was still young, he wanted to go to school. He travelled each day for 8 hours to get to and from his school to get his diploma. He just broke up with his girlfriend but wasn’t sad about. He wanted to focus on making some money so that his parents were ok. He figured he would get married by the time he was 27 and by then he would have a solid job and a house. He also would have no trouble finding a wife because: ‘I have good values, so my wife will have good values too.’
Now, a cynical person might want to label this boy both arrogant and naive. But somehow, instead of triggering my annoyance, he made me think. His sense of his self-worth might be a little overblown, and his life plan could be a little too optimistic – but I felt that was exactly the right attitude. Why not really own the things that you are good at? Why not share the things you would like to have? This 18-year-old boy seems to know himself so much better, and cares so much more about himself, than I did, several years his senior.
We since then introduced the ‘Aruna moment’; a moment to stop and think about things you are good at, taking it in, and really acknowledging it.
It is a compliment to yourself.
I started journaling my Aruna moments daily in the journal my friend gave me for this purpose. The first 50 days felt awkward and ridiculous. But I stuck to it, and after a while I really started to own my moments. When my first journal was filled, I got a new one – and was able to fill that one as well.
I recently found those journals again. I was happy to read those compliments to myself, that were all still valid.
So my advice to you (and to myself) for 2023: give yourself a daily present in the form of an ‘Aruna Moment’.